Becoming a Central Focus in
Someone's Life: A Guide
In life, there may be times when we feel like we are not a priority to
others. It can be disheartening when we complete a job well, develop a great
idea, or do something valuable for others only to receive no credit. However,
according to stoic philosophy, we should not expect recognition from others
because it is beyond our control. So, how can we become a priority in someone's
life? Here are nine steps that can help:
Step 1: Create the Fear of Losing Us
One powerful psychological technique is to make someone fear losing us.
People are often more motivated by the fear of losing something than the
prospect of gaining it. Start emotionally distancing ourselves, stop sharing
our feelings and confidences, and balance our time with others. This will make
them realize they are not as important to us as they used to be.
Step 2: Avoid Being Always Available
Quality over quantity applies to relationships as well. If we want to be
a priority, we may need to become less available. Consistently adapting and
accommodating others can lead to being taken for granted. Prioritize ourselves
and show that we have a life beyond them. This will make them value our
presence more.
Step 3: Maintain Some Mystery
Being mysterious can work to our advantage. Avoid revealing everything
about ourselves immediately. Give hints about our hobbies and interests without
disclosing excessive information. Answer questions vaguely and avoid delving
too deeply into our past. This will keep the other person intrigued and eager
to learn more about us.
Step 4: Allow Them to Invest in Us
Allowing someone to invest in us can make them see us as a priority. Let
them invest their time in us by turning down plans we cannot fulfil. Show that
our time is valuable and make them wait for us. This will make them see us as a
challenge and prioritize us.
Step 5: Prioritize our Needs
Prioritizing our needs does not mean being selfish. It means not putting
ourselves in a position where we are not a priority. Surround ourselves with
people who see us as a priority. Remember that we cannot control another
person's feelings toward us, but we can control how we feel about ourselves.
Step 6: Do not Make Them the Center of Our Life
People are often attracted to things they cannot have. Maintain a
certain distance to make people more attracted to our presence. This conveys
that we are not desperate for their attention; they will value us more over
time.
Step 7: Stop Initiating Communication All the Time
If we always initiate communication, the other person may take us for
granted. Stop initiating communication and see if the other person tries to get
in touch. If they genuinely care about us, they will reach out.
Step 8: Create Our Happiness
Create our happiness and do not depend on others to be happy. Depending
on others for happiness can lead to disappointment. By creating our happiness,
we will appear more balanced and self-assured, making us more attractive to
others.
Step 9: Be Willing to Walk Away
Show that we are not afraid to walk away if we are not treated as we
deserve. Doing so sends the message that we will not accept anything less than
we deserve. The right person will naturally see us as a priority and try to
keep us in their life.
Remember that we cannot only sometimes expect
recognition and credit from others. Focus on doing the right thing and being a
priority in our own life. Eventually, others will notice and give us the value
we deserve. Prioritize ourselves and live a fulfilling life.
Conclusion
In
summary, becoming a priority in someone's life involves a strategic blend of
psychological insights and self-empowerment. From creating a sense of urgency
by distancing emotionally to maintaining an air of mystery and allowing others
to invest in us, these steps guide us in fostering meaningful connections.
Prioritizing our needs, avoiding over-dependence on others for happiness, and
being willing to walk away when necessary are crucial to asserting our
self-worth. By embracing these principles, we prioritize ourselves and lay the
groundwork for authentic, mutually fulfilling relationships.